I am Kristi, I am just a mom as some would say. Most people don't realize what I go through all day, not to sound poetic, as it is not my intention just a simple truth. I have five beautiful daughters that I love and adore, but sometimes I just need to release a little as they don't realize how crazy they make me. I would like to see if at the end of this blog you still think I am "just a mom". Please forgive me for the grammatical errors and the bad punctuation throughout this blog, and maybe more to follow, as I do not have a lot of time as you will see to sit and proofread everything I type. MY time is very precious and extremely limited, As I am as sure as the sun is bright, someone will need something as I sit here and type this. ( there is child # 3 wanting to know if she can put more salt on her tater tots)
6:45 A.M.
My morning usually starts with quite a rush as I feel movement next to me, It would be my 2 year old, who has managed to come from her bedroom sometime in the middle of the night to my bed, just to crawl in, steal the covers and punch me in the throat all night as she "sleeps soundly". ( child # 3 again wants to ask how the blog is going) only to wake up to, mom I need some milk, mom I need some milk, oh and also I need you to find my slippers and my blanket and carry those downstairs too. Oh and I cant find my cup either, keep in mind my eyes have been opened for about 7 seconds so far, and I have yet to sit up, and frankly I would really like to just pee. I manage to crawl out of bed, take care of me, I find all of the above mentioned items including the cup, and manage with one eye still open to make it to the bottom of the stairs on my feet.
7:00 A.M.
I make it to the kitchen, load a K cup into the Keurig and push large cup button, attempt to open Facebook on my phone as I wait for my coffee to brew, and then it happens, I feel a tug on my leg. I look down and its the baby, she looks at me with those big eyes and says mom, I just want some milk. I then proceed to clean the sippy cup, rinse it out and turn to grab the milk and there she stands, with a full gallon of milk, fridge door wide open yelling hurry this is heavy. I pour the milk, replace the lid and hand it to her. I then walk out to the living room and change the news that my husband has on to some sort of kids cartoon, Disney or Nick JR. Back into the kitchen for me to hopefully pour cream into my coffee, take a couple of sips and light a cigarette before the other baby gets out of bed. 2 hits into that wonderful morning delight I hear a scruffy voice " mommy can I have some milk" there is the other baby. I sigh and say sure Babe, but where is your cup? she looks at me with those big blue eyes and says "I dunno, I can't find it". Back up the stairs I go, still not even having a sip of that coffee that smells so incredibly good. Victory at last, the cup is found, washed, and has fresh milk in it. And there on the counter is a steaming cup of coffee just calling my name and begging for me to find that French Vanilla creamer in the cabinet, as by now I have an eye and three quarters open. Silence is golden as I sit and sip my coffee, read Face book comments and manage to smoke one more cigarette.
8:15 A.M. I am still enjoying my time at the table as I hear movement upstairs. A few minutes later child # 3 comes bouncing down the stairs, by this time I have had about three quarters of a cup of coffee and my second eye has fully opened, though after being kick boxed and punched in the throat all night I am still not quite up to par, I don't feel like I am anyway, Geez, wonder why! Now, the first thing this kid says every morning isn't good morning mom or hi, it's always, without fail, I'm hungry. so out come the eggs. Do you want eggs and toast? I ask her, or French toast? Duh idiot, you knew she was going to say French toast. so, a half loaf of bread and 6 eggs later breakfast is ready, although I believe pouring a bowl of cereal would be much easier, BUT, I guess I just choose to serve them a hot breakfast every day. Breakfast is made and cleaned up dishes too, just in enough time for child # 4 to come down stairs and say, mom, what's for breakfast? UGH, out come the eggs again.
8:30 A.M. The computer goes on, as most of you know, all of my girls are home schooled online. The first kid of the day to do work is always # 3, and the first subject is Math, ick! Now listen, I am no saint here and it kills me to try and teach 2nd grade math, by the way I am on my second cup of coffee now. The reason behind me not wanting to teach it is not that it is hard, but it seems that she just doesn't always "get it" and sometimes it physically pains me to say the same thing 67 times. That's fine though, we go over and over it until I realize that I have just done all the work for her, out of what may be me teaching her something new, or her being smart enough to fool me , knowing I have just done it and she is secretly thinking I'm a dumb ass because she just fooled me into doing the work for her. then we move onto spelling, History and other subjects in which she does beautifully. Then out of the blue I hear a scream of death, number 1 and 2 are trying to scratch each others eyes out as they are bored with the tv. I have to, at this point, walk away from the lessons and break up the fight over a block, yes, One single solitary block, because there aren't 400 other blocks in the bag to choose from.
9:30 Child #3 has finally convinced me that she "get's" the math, and I log off her lessons and log onto # 4's lessons ( As I write this it is 8:00 at night and kid # 4 is to the right of me and she farts, kid # 3 is to the left of me asking if there is something stuck in her teeth) First lesson of the day, 5th grade math, which I do not mind at all teaching as it is fun for the both of us. by this time of the day there is NOTHING on the television that can keep the babies sat down and calm, keep in mind that I have yelled already about 45 times during this math lesson to shut the fridge, go potty, and don't hit your sister. Oh, and don't forget the NO, you can not have another banana you have already had 2 this morning, that would be the babies again. p.s. I am ready for a nap.
11:00 Finally I hear child #5 stomp with heavy feet down the stairs, she passes me up and goes straight to the kitchen. Between the screams of the babies who are still trying to kill one another, the other two also arguing over a Monster High doll shoe and my own wheels turning, which I might add I'm desperately trying to talk myself out of moving to Hawaii, ALONE. I hear, what's there to eat, there is nothing to eat, ugh! Now never mind the fact that we have gone to the grocery store just the night before and spent well over 200 bucks. I try to respond three times before I realize duh, she has those stupid ear buds in again, she is complaining but it's all rhetorical, she is not looking for an answer from you dummy. I get her something to eat and proceed to do the dishes for the third time today, as I think to myself oh yea, maybe you should lay something out for dinner. I lay out 2lbs of hamburger and then figure it is ok to go and sit down finally, because you know, I have only been standing since 7:00. It doesn't happen, as I remember, I have about 4 loads of laundry to do.
1:00 P.M. Many arguments later between kids, a pair of peed panties or two, thank goodness it's laundry day. I am finally thinking relief as my oldest is now on the computer doing her work, maybe she could keep the babies from running out the door behind me as I have a rather large load of laundry, quarters, and soap in hand, as no one else could be bothered to ask if they could help me take them out to the laundry room. wrong, here they come, in nothing but panties, mom can I help. ugh! The other two are done with their work. Maybe I can relax a tad after I change loads, just as I go to sit, I hear Mommy I'm hungry. and here we go again, off to the kitchen to make some grilled cheese and spaghetti o's. After they get done smearing it all over their self, the table, leather chairs, floor and somehow on the wall, I am prepared, as I form a line with a wet wash rag and wipe them all down ( too bad the hose has cold water) and the furniture too. I am really bushed by this time, but I now have a floor to sweep and mop, laundry to change out again and now to fold. at this time number #3 again, bless her heart knows that it is about time for her friends that attend public school to come home, in 45 mins. So I now am dealing with her, mom, hey mom, can we play in Mayas house today?
3:00 P.M. Two kids down as they have gone to play, whew.. but then I hear the shrill of my teenager coming from upstairs and suddenly hear the babies fly down the stairs, they have managed to somehow get into the top of the closet and pull all of her make up down, this sets her mood for the rest of the day. Dang it! MOM, why cant you keep them out of my stuff, well I don' know daughter, maybe it is because I was secretly hiding in the bathroom trying to pee ALONE, or maybe I was washing that dish you just threw in the sink because you just had to eat again. perhaps I was folding clothes, or trying to pull the rest of dinner out of the cabinet. At this time I hear water running from the bathroom, I go check and ones on the toilet while the other is soaking herself, the counter, and the floor (playing in the sink)for the third time today now I have to change their clothes and wipe down the counter AGAIN at that time the door bell rings, I open it half expecting it to be my kids it is a religious group trying to read me the Bible, I just say really, I don't have time and close the door. fifteen minutes later the door bell rings again as I am trying to clean up the previous mess, and it is the girl scouts wanting to sell my fat self some cookies, no thanks. so I close the door again and proceed to take care of the mess.
5:00 P.M. I am hurrying to get dinner done, the babies are tired and whiny wanting some more milk, as if we hadn't already gone through a gallon today, I oblige to hush them, take them back to the living room, put their favorite on demand cartoons on and hope for the best. My husband walks in the door and notices the smell, he says mmm smells good, what's for dinner? I begin to answer only to realize he has already left the room. alright! I then realize that the other two are not back yet and that it is time to be home as it is dark, so I have to walk over and get them.
5:30 P.M. Dinner is complete and ready to be served, I make all the kids a plate and sit them at the table to eat, now keep in mind I have 5 kids, it does not matter what I make, someone is ALWAYS complaining. I serve them and wouldn't you know it BAM! like clock work I hear eww, I don't like this from one kid, does this have onions in it from another, gimme the catsup from another, even it it is not a catsup warranting meal, and can I have some more, one is saying can I just have a peanut butter and jelly. Then we go through the lecture of how many starving children there are in this world that would just love to have that sloppy joe or meatloaf and how grateful you should be that you have a mom whocooks 3 hot meals for you everyday instead of giving you junk. and of course they are so sheltered they don't believe anything I say when I say things like that. The husband scarfs down a plate and says " Thanks for dinner dear, it was delicious" then tosses his dish in the sink, and goes on about his way. the kids finish, then get bathed, and I clean up the dinner mess and do dishes for oh I don't know, the 6th time in a day.
7:00 P.M. The hustle and bustle of getting the babies down is enough to drive any one mad. we have to run around like a crazy person searching for once again the cups, slippers, blankets, which I usually find that they have taken upstairs and thrown in their closet, wash and refill the cups, listen to them cry in their seriously tired voice on how they are not tired, run through the living room 7 times, hide under the kitchen table twice, and kiss and hug dad five times. then finally, they are convinced it is time to head upstairs.
7:03 P.M. WOO HOOO It's finally beer thirty, I can finish the minor stuff around the house like cleaning the bathrooms, scrubbing the counters, vacuuming the floor etc, without interruption and I can have a beer or 4 while doing it. errr..so I thought, as here comes a kid or two, can we make loom bandz, can we go back outside, no, but our friends are still out, so, your so mean mom, you never let us.....duh, it's dark!
8:45 P.M. Finally, I can just sit and relax, maybe watch some t.v., play some candy crush, maybe even....zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz................................
Now please, tell me am I really "just a mom" this blog is just a simple version of what my day is really like, as I have left probably a million and one details out, simply because I don't have 3 days to type.
